Friday, November 14, 2008

Thar She Blows!!!

So yesterday I chapereoned a field trip to the zoo. I was in charge of three 5 yr old boys, one of whom I gave birth to. It was actually pretty fun, except for the part where one of them complained often and loudly that he was starving to death, or thirsty, or tired. But, we soldiered on. Since we had such a limited amount of time, I took a survey of one "must see" from each one so no one would be disappointed. As long as they got to see elephants, tigers and rattlesnakes, we were golden. They also each got to touch a snake. which was right up their 5 yr old boy alley. I used to work at a zoo, so I felt confident in my ability to impart some good animal info to these guys - all of which they completely ignored, naturally. I did, however, feel good for giving it my best shot.

After we had a delicious picnic lunch of a room temperature Lunchable, I was back on my way across the lake. New Orleans traffic is simply horrible nowadays, so it took me a full hour to get home. I had the sitter for another hour, but Princess Poopie Pants would not allow any nappage. After the sitter left, Baby J was sitting in my lap with her head on my shoulder about to fall asleep. I was totally enjoying this rare quiet time, and then I felt the tell-tale rumbling. And, just like Vesuvius it came - in spurts and waves. Princess Poopie Pants had morphed into Princess Pukie Pants - just like that. All over herself, me, the only decent rug in my house, as well as my cheap microfiber disposable sofa. I just held her calmly until she was done. And then I began the clean up process. First me (I had it the worst), then her, the rug, then couch. I made a blanket and towel pallet on the living room floor, and Pukie Pants laid down her little head, clad only in a diaper and nodded off while watching Elmo. And then, the sleeping volcano would stir slightly - and the eruption would follow. As a mom of three, kid vomit is a little old hat to me. I am SO much calmer about it than I used to be. I no longer react like it is burning napalm or some sort of acid bath. It all cleans up. It's just that confused look on their faces when they have lost all control of their functions that gets me.....

So, on the floor she stayed, still sleeping when the boys came home from school, still sleeping when Daddy (who had been summoned home a few minutes early) arrived. Of course, she woke up for Daddy, smiled big and began moving again, just to show him Mommy was full of it and she was fine. She almost had him, too, until she erupted one last time just for him. And then, just as quickly as the sleeping volcano came to life, it went dormant again. P3 was just fine by bath and bedtime, leaving only a smelly pile of clothes, towels and blankets in her wake. Ah, the joys of motherhood just never end, do they?


  1. I hope all is well with P3, the boys, and mom and dad. (I also hope that if a next puke attack occurs, you somehow manage to avoid it being on you!)

  2. UGH, a pile of pukey clothing DOES NOT smell good. Been there, don't want to go there again! =) That was a cute zoo story, very good idea to have a 'must see' list!!

    Found you on MBC! I have a 20 month old, too! Became a follower today!