Sunday, December 28, 2008

If You'd Like to Make a Call, Please Hang Up and Try Again....

We used to have a regular old house phone with three extensions. None of these was in a particularly convenient place, so they traveled a lot. I mean, if I am on the phone, I am generally not stationary, so the one next to my bed will probably end up in the living room, or, I confess, the bathroom. I promise I try really hard not to talk to anyone in the bathroom, but at times it can't be helped. Eventually, they would all make it back to their little cradles at night to sleep and recharge their batteries.

And then they began to disappear. P3 has always loved to play with the phone. Thankfully, I have some very patient friends who are not completely annoyed by the sound of a blabbering baby coming from the phone. She played with my cell phone so much, she finally broke it. It did not survive the afternoon swim in the dog's water bowl, which was ok because I wanted a new one anyway.

One day, I realized I was down to one phone in the house. I just could never find one! Finally, I enlisted the help of the boys - yeah, right. They went on a re-con mission to find the other ones. Big D says nonchalantly, "I think there's one in our bathroom." "Well, go get it, honey." He brings it to me and says, "Baby J dropped it in the toilet one time when she followed me in there, but I got it out." "Well, honey, did you try to get the water out of it?" "....Uh, no. Was I supposed to?" And there went phone #1. Phone #2 was the office phone, and it's been MIA for so long, we gave up. And, phone #3, the last of its kind, lost its antennae in an unprovoked random act of baby violence.

I decided that today was the last day I was going to run from room to room trying to answer the phone, only to get totally pissed when I found out it was the Fraternal Order of Police asking for money. I am not allowed to buy things with cords on them, so Toad and the whole crew had to go out in search of a new house phone. He chose one - with 3 extensions. And, now all I have to do is have him build some super high shelves to keep the baby from calling Singapore again!

I mean, truly, people without children don't realize how hard kids can make the simplest things - like answering a freaking phone! This is not supposed to be difficult!

There - I feel better now.


  1. I can never find our phone and when I do it's out of batteries or "no link to base". I am ready to throw the thing at the wall!

  2. I feel your pain. I have cordless phones all over the place and I can stay on each one about 2 minutes before the battery goes dead. I'm running the entire time while on the phone from one receiver to the next.