Sunday, February 1, 2009

Lies Your Mother Told You.....

OK, OK. First off, I am very sorry to the three people who read me on a regular basis. I have not posted for a long time for a whole bunch of reasons -none of them serious and none of them particularly good. However, I am back, for better or worse.

And, so, here am with some more of my random thoughts.....

As regular readers may know, my mom and I were very close. She was not perfect by any means, but she was a good mother. Only now am I able to understand her better as I try to raise these kids of mine!

Before she died, I was aware of some of the lies she told me, but now I know even more. These were all lies that were "for my own good," but I share them with you here to save you the trouble of figuring them out yourself! Some are big, some just little white lies, but I think we deserve to know the truth:

  • If you swallow gum, it will not form a ball in your stomach and stay there for seven years. Ditto fingernails.
  • If you marry an ugly man, he is not necessarily nicer to you because "he is more grateful."
  • You are not necessarily beautiful to others because your mother says so. You are probably beautiful to her, but I am not guaranteeing it.
  • You were not a perfect baby.
  • If you cross your eyes, they will not stick that way.
  • Your mother loves you all the time, but there are many times she didn't like you much.
  • She always wished your father would be more involved with you.
  • No matter what she said, there were times she questioned whether motherhood was the right choice for her.
  • It does NOT get dark at night so that all the flowers and trees can sleep, too.
  • There are not 365 good ways to use ground beef, no matter how broke you are.
  • She did not want the burnt piece of toast every time.
  • And, here's the biggie.... she did not love all of you the same, and she did have a favorite. The thing is, the favorite changes constantly and the amount of love is the same, she just loves you all for the different ways you are. Well, unless you're a real jerk of a kid, in which case all bets are off.

And, for the record, Big D is usually my favorite to hang out with, but lately Dubya has been a whole heap of fun. I love all of my kids, but each one in a completely different way. And every day there's a different favorite, and I just hope it all evens out in the long run.


  1. Good to see you're back! It's so true about the favorite thing.

  2. Welcome back; these are hilarious! I have a giveaway on my blog this week so check it out if you get a minute!

  3. Hope everything is going ok. Haven't seen you update in a while.

  4. I am so glad you're back. I took a slight Hiatus myself. Welcome back!

  5. Poor, poor neglected blog. ;-(

  6. Welcome back; these are hilarious! & It's so true about the favorite thing. Domain registration india